When Karrick was born, I felt like our family was picture perfect, maybe even complete. A happy little girl, the sweetest baby boy. But then that moment happened. Which I probably could have ignored and forgotten. Except that it happened again. and again...There were three instances over the next several weeks in which I went to count my children, but instead counted 3.
For the longest time, I hadn't even made the connection of our foster/adoption journey and those earlier instances of looking for my daughter. It had been so long since I had counted 3, and the decision to adopt came later. But when I do think back to those moments? I feel it in my bones. Our third child all ready exists. Those feelings weren't divine suggestions of a future pregnancy or birth of my own. It was a deep feeling in my heart that my third baby is all ready in this world, and each time I felt it, I felt it with a momentary urgency to find her.
I wish I could say that I frequently hear God's clear voice, but, let me just be honest, that's usually not the case. Probably because I don't stop long enough to listen. But this, this I believe was God. God preparing my heart for my second daughter. He has linked her heart with mine and given me the desire to seek her out.
I counted 3 children because I have three children. There's one I haven't met yet, but she is out there. And our family is waiting.
Call to me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Jeremiah 33:3